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The Big Q

What would be the name and plotline of a TV show based on your lawyerly dramas?


JOSE ROSARIO Solo practitioner

Worcester, Mass.

I launched my practice this year, so my plotline reflects what I expect will be the reality of my future. The show is based on the wacky goings-on between myself, my clients and my supporting cast—my family. The title of the show is Ay-Ya-Yai!

I am a mild-mannered Latino married to a lovely but talkative and slightly domineering Latina (think Rosie Perez plus 10 years or so). I have three kids: a married, responsible son (think a grown-up Fred Savage) who is always cooking up get-rich-quick schemes (while I try to convince him of the value of an education and getting rich slowly); a second son in his mid-20s who lives at home (while I try to convince him of the value of his own place) and works nights (so he emerges like a bear from hibernation each day); and a teenage princess daughter (think teenage princess daughter). Ay-Ya-Yai!

I have a home office that is separate from the house, but the walls are really thin, so I’m constantly being interrupted by crashing dishes, grandkids running through my office, etc. And my wife stops in every show to talk at me about the most mundane subjects. This is, of course, juxtaposed against my desire for the appropriate gravitas due to my clients. Ay-Ya-Yai!

At the end of each episode, my clients are always well-served, not only by their outstanding lawyer but also by the lessons they learn about the truly most important thing in life: family.

MARSHA I. STILES

Solo practitioner

Florissant, Mo.

Family practice or laying Down the Law. I went to law school one month af­ter giving birth to my fifth child. Now I am a professional mommy with a law office in my bedroom.

I’m also pregnant with my sixth child. (I found something I was good at and stuck with it; that’s why I went to law school—I had to find some way to support my habit.) I have a 9-year-old who makes the pastor’s son sign a contract when they agree to trade toys, a 15-year-old who wants me to plead down tickets for her new driver friends, and a 4-year-old who passes out my business cards.

TONY HILLIARD

Ramsay, Bridgforth, Harrelson and Starling

Pine Bluff, Ark.

L.A. (lower Arkansas) law—the mad­cap misadventures of a law­­yer in a small town.

Episode one: Our hero at­­­tempts to represent the preg­nant widow of a man slain by the widow’s lover, while the in-laws, allegedly in the “redneck Mafia,” try to intervene. The in-laws are de­feated only after our hero asks for a metal de­tec­tor outside the courtroom.

Episode two: Our hero at- tempts to probate the estate of a wealthy, well-respected fa­ther of seven by three ex-wives and a girlfriend or two.

Episode three: Our hero decides to focus more on small-business tax issues.

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