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Work/Life Balance

Depressed After 3rd Child’s Birth, Successful Partner Committed Suicide

Posted Jul 28, 2009 5:57 PM CST
By Martha Neil

Seemingly very successful both at work and at home, Catherine Bailey returned to work as a finance litigator around Christmas after the birth of her youngest daughter a little over six months earlier.

But the 41-year-old partner in the London office of SJ Berwin apparently may have been suffering from post-partum depression, coroner Alison Thompson told West London Coroner’s Court this week. On Jan. 10, Bailey drowned herself in the River Thames, the London Times reported. The court's verdict was suicide.

Bailey texted a message to her husband, who is a physician, a short time earlier, telling him she loved him and asking him to take care of their daughters. In addition to the baby, the couple had 5- and 4-year-old girls.

"Ms. Bailey was a very capable and professional woman and a loving mother of three young children who found it hard to meet the demands of motherhood and the high standard she had set herself,” Thompson testified.

Bailey had told her husband she felt under pressure at work, reports the London Evening Standard in an article written shortly after her death.

In the Evening Standard article, the law firm's managing partner, Ralph Cohen, describes Bailey as an exceptional lawyer who was "hugely popular" with colleagues and clients.

Although the articles don't discuss what can be done to try to prevent such tragic deaths, subsequent coverage sparked by news of the suicide verdict does.

And many bar associations provide resources to help struggling attorneys and their families:

The American Bar Association has made a continuing legal education program on suicide prevention freely available to the public, notes a post on Findlaw's Strategist blog. The download can be directly accessed on an ABA Web page for the ABA Commission on Lawyer Assistance Programs.

A message from ABA President H. Thomas Wells Jr. in this month's issue of the ABA Journal also urges readers to check out the ABA's Economic Recovery Resources Web portal. It includes information about work/life balance and suicide prevention help, as well as numerous other programs.

Related additional coverage:

ABAJournal.com: "Extra Recession Pressure On Women Makes It Harder to Say No"

Legal Week: "SJ Berwin posts near-50% PEP drop as turnover falls by 14%"

Updated on July 29 to provide information about subsequent news coverage on work/life balance sparked by suicide verdict.

Comments

1.

Guano Dubango
Jul 29, 2009 4:36 AM CST

It is difficult to have it all.  This is the logical end point when women try to be both good mothers and have a demanding career.  You can’t do both. 

Either the man or the woman should be the bread winner, and the other should take care of the kids.

That’s what my parents did, and I turned out just fine.  I recommend that the man and the woman get together and figure out who is bettter suited to do the domestic chores and who should go out and earn the money for the household.

Once this is figured out, they should do it.  Of course, if both are well schooled, they could alternate and see how that went.  But this situation typifies why women typically are like fish out of water when they can’t spend enough time with the kids.

This should be a wake up call not to be so politically correct and do the right thing, even if it means that a woman is taking care of her children (or the man, if both agree).

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2.

DR
Jul 29, 2009 7:40 AM CST

The article said that she was apparently suffering from post-partum depression, a serious issue that can lead to thoughts of suicide.  Stay-at-home moms get post-partum depression too, so people should read up on this before assuming that new moms commit suicide because they are working outside the home and somehow can’t handle the pressure.  Many, many, many people are able to balance home and work.  Why don’t they commit suicide?  Because they are not depressed.  Read up on depression, please.

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3.

Formerly Depressed
Jul 29, 2009 7:53 AM CST

This woman had depression. I have had depression and it is a serious illness, the effects of which should not be underestimated. She needed professional help. Yes, it can happen to people who appear to “have it all” like this lady. Depression does not discriminate and it can hit rich, poor, and any race.

I am sure people will say, “no job is worth killing yourself over” and “how selfish of her ” etc…...but what happens when you are depressed is that you lose objectivity and your answer to the pain, suicide, is an irrational reaction to a problem that can be solved…it just appears that there is no way out.

Now after treatment with lexapro for 9 months, supplements, exercise, good diet I feel 100% better and cannot belive I contemplated suicide.

Another thing I should point out, when i first got depression in 1999, I didn’t know I had it! I just felt mentally awful…it never occurred to me that i had depression…..again in 2001….it was not until 2006 that I did a bit of reserach online and read about depression and the light bulb went on “oh that’s me” I said. So I think mnay people have it and don’t know it…...people think depression is something that “those crazy people get.”

Be man/woman enough to ask for prefessional help and you can beat this disease.

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4.

steve
Jul 29, 2009 11:10 AM CST

Just shows you how hard it is to be a partner at BigLaw and juggle the demands of being a mother.

I feel sorry for her family she took the easy way out.

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5.

Joanie
Jul 29, 2009 11:23 AM CST

To Formerly Depressed:  How wonderful that you met depression head on and took proactive steps to manage it.  Sadly, this young woman who committed suicide didn’t recognize or acknowledge the symptoms.  I know too many lawyers who fear getting treatment for any mental disorder and instead struggle with demons.  Best of luck to you.

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6.

MWM
Jul 29, 2009 1:00 PM CST

Hmm… if she were a male partner with three children, would anyone attribute her suicide to the fact “he” couldn’t handle being a father to three children and a partner?  No.  The fact that “he” had three children would probably only be mentioned in passing.  No one knows why she did this or if it had anything to do with the fact she was a mother.

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7.

Post Partum
Jul 29, 2009 1:59 PM CST

MWM - stop trying to stir the male v. female pot with your feminist undergrad diatribe. She had post-partum depression…. which men by definition do not get!!

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8.

MWM
Jul 30, 2009 10:35 AM CST

Post Partum - Thanks for your feedback.  I would like to point out that this article said the coroner said that the woman “apparently may have been suffering from post-partum depression.”  Based on the fact that (1) it was the coroner,  who presumably never spoke to the woman, and as probablly not an expert on post-partum depresssion, (2) the use of the word “apparently”; and (3) the use of the word “may” simply assumed she had post-partum depression because she killed herself six months after having a baby.  It was the assumption I was attacking - the assumption that if a woman has an emotional issue, it must be related to the fact she had a child, and the same assumption would not attach to a man.  I did not mean to stir any pots at all, or go on a diatribe, I was just raising a point about presumptions that attach automatically to a woman and not a man.  But thank you for sharing your perspective, I will try to be clearer in any future posts I make.

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9.

B. McLeod
Jul 31, 2009 1:29 AM CST

Creeping fog is on the river,
Flow, sweet river, flow,
Sun and moon and stars gone with her,
Sweet Thames, flow softly,
Swift the Thames runs to the sea,
Flow, sweet river, flow,
Bearing ships, and part of me,
Sweet Thames, flow softly..

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10.

PPD survivor
Jul 31, 2009 5:54 AM CST

We don’t know for certain whether or not this woman had PPD, or what her other problems may have been.  PPD can strike any new mother, working or stay-at-home.  Try being sleep-deprived and on a hormone high for 9 months, only to have these physical problems intensify after the baby’s born.  No matter how intelligent, successful or put-together you are, there are just some days you are not yourself, even if it doesn’t materialize into full blown PPD.  I suffered from PPD after the birth of my first child; I realized that the baby was the only thing keeping me from killing myself, despite having a good career and a great marriage.  I got therapy and took Prozac for 6 months.  I took back my life by insisting on and accepting help from others so I could get more sleep, exercise and some occasional alone time.

I wish more lawyers would realize that there is no shame in seeking professional help for all kinds of depression.  Depression is learned helplessness after suffering a loss of control.  Prescription medication can be an effective tool if used correctly.  It should not “drug you up” or change your behavior; rather, it takes the weight off of your pain so you can tackle your problems more effectively.  I am lucky that my depression was situational and temporary.  However, I know many successful lawyers and executives who live with life-long mental illness yet manage their lives effectively with treatment and medication.

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11.

Alice
Aug 4, 2009 2:03 PM CST

It is so sad that this young mother did not recognize the signs of post-partum depression, or did not want to acknowledge it.  What a sad loss for her, her children, and her husband, when so much could have been done for her.  People like Brooke Shields are trying to get the message out that this is NOT an issue to be hidden in spite of the scolding by some of the less-informed members of society,  I hope the message continues to be spread to prevent future tragedies.

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