How to respond to 'You don't look like a lawyer'
A columnist offered some advice to a female lawyer who wondered how to respond when people tell her “You don’t look like a lawyer.”
The lawyer, “Susan,” said she is a “reasonably attractive” female lawyer in her early 30s who dresses “in a stylish yet conservative way.” When she meets nonlawyers at networking events, they often tell her, “You don’t look like a lawyer.” She sent her question to New York Times Social Qs columnist Philip Galanes.
“It has started to bother me,” Susan wrote. “I am not sure if they are commenting on my gender, age, demeanor or all of the above. My goal is to develop business. How should I respond?”
Galanes offers this advice: “If you want to know what ‘You don’t look like a lawyer’ means, ask. But do it in the same chuckling way your new acquaintances did: ‘What does that mean?’ Not only will they tell you, but by engaging with them gently on a subject deeper than traffic or weather, you may persuade them that you are exactly the attorney they need. Two birds, one stone.”
