Jobless Told to Network, but Some Stay Silent and Keep Up Appearances

Some of the unemployed and underemployed are so embarrassed that they are keeping their situation a secret from friends and neighbors, despite advice from career counselors to use informal networks to find job contacts.

The Washington Post reports on several Washington, D.C., area workers who attend a support group for unemployed executives at the Fairfax Presbyterian Church. The members do not have to reveal their names. One member is a Washington, D.C., lawyer who was recently forced to move from an equity partner to counsel. Now he worries about how he will pay the mortgage on his new dream home.

The lawyer is one of several people who don’t want to tell others of their job problems. One woman in the group said only her children know that she and her husband are out of work and out of savings. She tells neighbors who see her at home during the day that she is telecommuting, and she and her husband make up excuses when friends ask them to join them for dinners out. She recently put off $1,000 worth of dental work and suffers from the pain of a cracked crown.

Licensed clinical social worker Cynthia Turner told the newspaper she sees people willing to talk about the stock market but not about losing a job. “I have people who are not working and laid off who still pay their country club memberships,” she said. “Then they're not sleeping at night and fighting with their spouses or children."