U.S. Supreme Court
O’Connor’s Husband, Afflicted With Alzheimer’s, Has New Love
Posted Nov 13, 2007 6:55 AM CST
By Debra Cassens Weiss
Updated: Retired Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O’Connor visits her husband at a Phoenix Alzheimer’s facility even though he no longer remembers her and has fallen in love with another woman.
O’Connor’s son, Scott, told KPNX-Channel 12 in Phoenix that his mother was relieved her husband was happy following a painful period coping with his Alzheimer's Disease, USA Today reports. She retired as his disease became more difficult to handle.
"For Mom to visit when he's happy … visiting with his girlfriend, sitting on the porch swing holding hands" is a relief, he said. "Mom was thrilled that Dad was relaxed and happy and comfortable living here and wasn't complaining.”
O’Connor’s husband, John, was also a lawyer. They met at Stanford Law School.
The TV report focused on Alzheimer's patients who forget their spouses and fall in love with someone else, a common scenario.
The reporter who aired the story defended her decision in an interview with PoynterOnline, ABAJournal.com notes in a later post. KPNX reporter Veronica Sanchez said her goal--and that of the O'Connor family--was to raise Alzheimer’s awareness.
“The question of whether this is news or ‘too personal’ is very simple for me,” she said. “The family said they wanted to bring awareness to the reality of Alzheimer’s, that they are not alone. From the moment the camera rolled, that was our objective.”
Peter Reed, senior director of programs at the Alzheimer's Association in Chicago, told USA Today that O’Connor is to be commended for raising awareness and reducing stigmas about the disease.
Story updated 11/16/2007 at 1:45 PM.
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Comments
Judy Solomon
Nov 16, 2007 6:44 AM CST
Oh my goodness—why even print this as “news?” It’s like reality show gossip for lawyers—disgraceful. Give these people the privacy and dignity they deserve.
nanette neidhardt
Nov 16, 2007 6:56 AM CST
I suppose #1’s comment that this isn’t news is correct but my mother-in-law has Alzheimer’s so I know first hand the pain of this disease for those who love that person. Anything that brings peace and comfort to the person with the disease brings peace and comfort to family and friends. I guess at this point in my family’s journey with this disease I find it good to know that there may be some kind of comfort down the road a bit.
M Sherman
Nov 16, 2007 7:07 AM CST
This same thing happened to my dad, who had Alzheimer’s - although he did recognize my mother, he had a “girlfriend” at the care center he lived at who he would hold hands with and hug. My mother, like Justice O’Connor, was very happy that my father had found a way of coping by reaching out to someone else.
jjmiles
Nov 16, 2007 7:19 AM CST
That the ABA would include this in one of its publications is a disgrace.
MJ
Nov 16, 2007 8:08 AM CST
Alice Munro wrote a lovely, painful short story about this years ago - for the readers out there it is one that’s usually in her collected stories, “The Bear Came Over the Mountain.”
BT
Nov 16, 2007 8:27 AM CST
I saw a movie about this type of situation recently. It was called “Away From Her” and it was very interesting/touching. I feel that Justice O’Connor’s privacy, if violated, was violated by her son. It was probably with her blessing, because people who find themselves in these kind of tough situations are often happy to divulge anything that might help someone else cope with a similar problem. The fact that there are many people out there dealing with similar problems and looking for advice makes it news.
Zippity Do Da
Nov 16, 2007 8:40 AM CST
#1 and #4 should think twice before nay-saying a story that will help to further society’s understanding of a disease that affects more and more people each year. Attitudes like theirs perpetuate society’s poor view of lawyers.
vickie
Nov 16, 2007 8:53 AM CST
The disgrace is NOT in running the story but in the choice of headlines. A more appropriate headline, such as “O’Connor raises Alzheimer’s awareness”, would make this less gossipy sounding.
BrettB
Nov 16, 2007 9:01 AM CST
Actually, I think this is very much news. Justice O’Connor retired from the US Supreme Court to be with her husband. That is news. Further information about his treatment, including a report explaining that he is coping with his disease is news. That the disease has caused him to forget his wife and fall in love with another woman is news. Regardless of anything this story may do to raise awareness of Alzheimer’s disease, the story is still news. It is an interesting look at the life of one of the most influential people of the last 30 years. You people should look up the definition of news.
John
Nov 16, 2007 9:14 AM CST
Well, let’s just think about this a moment. ” The ABA Journal, Law News Now” is the title of this publication and I’m just trying to see the law news angle here other than Justice O’Connor identity and that her husband also was a lawyer. Nope there is not a scintilla of legal material in the article. Basically you have a shameless titalating headline with personal information about the Justice’s life with/without her husband and some throw away line that she is to be commended for raising awareness.. While I don’t doubt that the topic is worthy of discussion because a large portion of our population has issues regarding Alzheimer’s, it probably doesn’t belong in the ABA Journal in the context brought to light here. So Congratulations in descending into the gossip pit. By the way reporting what another tabloid has reported is not sufficient cover; I expect more out of the ABA..
JD
Nov 16, 2007 9:16 AM CST
I suspect that those of us, like me, who have had a family member or close friend afflicted with Alzheimer’s disease, will find the article to be comforting and informative. Conversely, others who are unfamiliar with the pain and agony of seeing someone suffer with this disease will view the article as gossip.
Bill
Nov 16, 2007 9:17 AM CST
BrettB - while is may meet some technical definition of “news” (i.e., “a report of recent events” or “previously unknown information”) it is hardly *newsworthy*.
This just in: John Roberts has a hangnail.
Stan
Nov 16, 2007 9:49 AM CST
My mother has Alzheimer’s. Identifying her and diclosing the intimate details of her deterioration would not contribute in any significant way to awareness. Same goes for Mr. O’Connor. This is pandering to those with insatiable desires for details regarding the lives of “celebraties.” It is not newsworthy. Have we no shame?
Ray McNamara
Nov 16, 2007 9:53 AM CST
Several parties have acted in poor taste. I cannot imagine revealing this information about parents.
Law Student in Madison
Nov 16, 2007 9:58 AM CST
Stan,
Don’t be such a square! Of course this is newsworthy! I don’t understand you people who are up in arms about exposing this horrible disease, then up in arms about exposing the disease!
Fight a fight worth fighting.
Stacey
Nov 16, 2007 10:13 AM CST
Brett B. has it completely right. Justice O’Connor’s reason for leaving the Supreme Court, an event that dramatically shifted our nation’s legal landscape, was to care for her husband. An update about her husband’s condition is therefore perfectly appropriate for a legal publication. The story is also newsworthy because, as Jeffrey Toobin discusses in his new book, J. O’Connor’s husband rapid deterioration shortly after she left the bench sadly meant that the reason for her departure was essentially rendered moot. The fact that this story raises awareness about an aspect of Alzheimer’s Disease, similarly to how Alice Munro’s book and its cinematic adaptation did, is merely an added bonus.
Jeff
Nov 16, 2007 10:14 AM CST
This is becoming a more and more familiar story for many families in this country. If the family is willing to share their story, then they should be applauded. If read properly, this is a story about a horrible disease and the family coping with it, not a tabloid tryst.
Zippity Do Da
Nov 16, 2007 10:17 AM CST
To Ray (#14)— Justice O’Connor’s ability to appreciate that her husband has found some happiness in such a traumatic and life-altering disease, and her son’s recognition of his father’s happiness, is not in poor taste—it is a sign of unconditional love. If your comments are based on any religion, I believe you have mis-construed those teachings.
C.C. Calescibetta.MD, JD
Nov 16, 2007 11:29 AM CST
If Justice O’Connor and family members agreed on releasing information regarding Mr. O’Connor’s behavior resulting from his medical condition, and it was not degrading to Mr. O’Connor, I believe it was appropriate to divulge the information. Presumably other family members of similarly afflicted individuals will benefit from this article.
RBBriggs, JD
Nov 16, 2007 11:48 AM CST
I can understand why some believe the intimate details of the life of a prominent lawyer, judge and justice are irrelevant, and prurient. But we should all try to remember that lawyers and judges, as much as they try to be objective and unemotional, are people. Compassion and understanding abound in the legal profession, notwithstanding the constant lawyer gibes. And as much as one may try to deny it, everyone is ultimately touched by disability, as much as one might fear it. I give kudos to this family, being open about a disabling condition that affects many. With knowledge comes understanding, acceptance, and peace—something the legal profession needs as much if not more than any other segment of our society.
George, BA, JD, MD, and all around nice guy
Nov 16, 2007 11:48 AM CST
I don’t dispute this is news; it just isn’t news for the ABA Law News. And I hope the standard for the ABA News is not that not that the story gives others comfort. It belongs in a a health or Alzheimer’s magazine, not here and USA Today is not and should not be the standard bearer for the ABA. . Its a report on a report, nothing else. So many respond inferring things in this article that just don’t exist or imply motives which are not supported by the story .It doesn’t raise awareness at all and there is nothing in it about his treatment. If people were honest they would admit that the reason they read it was its shameless headline. Justice O’Connor left the bench almost two years ago for admitted personal reasons. This is a purely personal issue of hers and not related to the law. What next an interview with Requist’s children about how the loss of their mother to ovarian cancer in ‘91 affected their father’s life on the bench. Come on, enough of this stuff and just because it is interesting it isn’t worthy of the ABA news. BrettB final line “It is an interesting look at the life of one of the most influential people of the last 30 years” is the most telling…pure, unadulterated voyeurism.
Mark E. Thompson
Nov 16, 2007 1:20 PM CST
As an elder law lawyer with more than 30 experience, I deal with legal and social issues affecting the elderly (and sometimes not so elderly) all the time. It is very appropriate for the ABA to publish this information for lawyers. What a fine and compassionate story to be able to relate to appropriate clients and family members in similar circumstances. I applaud Justice O’Conner and her family.
Mark E. Thompson
Nov 16, 2007 1:43 PM CST
Correct to no. 22: That would be 30 years of experience and still learning to type.
John N. Bain
Nov 16, 2007 2:12 PM CST
God Bless Justice O’Conner and give her comfort that she will be forever in John’s soul.
Michelle
Nov 16, 2007 5:10 PM CST
It makes me sad that a person can have Alzheimer’s and fall in love with someone else and the spouse of the Alzheimer sufferer must watch it….. even sadder than just dealing with the disease…. :( I love you—please don’t get Alzheimer’s and fall in love with someone else….
Doug
Nov 16, 2007 5:54 PM CST
Often the ABA magazine presents pieces on the stress lawyers face—both professionally and (often as a result) personally. Our “magazine” is a pretty balanced forum—not a treatise on law. I’m just one, but I appreciate the update on a distinguished member of the legal family and how she is hadling an all too common affliction we as lawyers may face within our families, or may someday face ourselves. I’m thankful for the feature and now understand an issue a bit better as well as appreciate it more than if I had seen it on Entertainment Tonight. The headline did not offend—in fact, it did not state enough for me to understand the piece without reading further. Somewhere in some dictionary, I believe we will find that as the definition and purpose of a headline. My heart goes out to the O’Connors and my appreciation to the ABA for its tasteful manner in presenting this subject.
Thgough, I’m sure (if not already) I imagine some attorney using this as a theory to get a client (or himself) off for adultery. ;-)
Regal Legal Eagle
Nov 17, 2007 1:44 AM CST
Of course it is news. Of course it has legal relevance. Do people really want the ABA Journal and News to become just additional Law Reviews? Hats off to the O’Connors for their tolerance, compassion and honesty!... John hasn’t disloyally fallen in love; he’s just at a stage of his disease where he can only remember and find comfort in the people he sees constantly.
Lee
Nov 17, 2007 2:37 PM CST
The big issue for me is the pandering headline. “Love” is a pretty loaded word. As attorneys, we are first taught to look at objective acts and states of mind before drawing conclusions. The state of mind of a person with a mentally debilitating disease is often a big question mark.
Of course, accurate headlines may not sell newspapers or grab eyeballs.
porsche the Boxer
Nov 20, 2007 1:55 PM CST
I read about this sotry in the Arizona Republic and watched it on Channel 12 in Phoenix and and I read the same story in about 6 other newspapers as I traveled to Washington D.C. I checked ny e-mail and lo and behold, I read about it again. Everyone should read this story. The more folks hear about it, the better…as we all need to become more aware of this terrible disease that is attacking more and more people. The story is more than legal news or Supreme Court news. It is a sad story about humans and one of the drawbacks of our extended life cycle.
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