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Law Practice Management

‘Survivor’s Guilt’: What to Say When a Colleague Is Laid Off

Posted Feb 23, 2009 2:54 PM CST
By Martha Neil

Suddenly finding out that a colleague has been laid off, many people aren't sure what to say. For some, the instinct is to say nothing.

But ignoring the situation is one of the worst things you can do, reports the Wall Street Journal. And, in an economy in which law firm layoffs of attorneys and staff have become alarmingly commonplace, such etiquette advice, unfortunately, is likely to be useful to all too many lawyers.

As when someone dies, simply saying "I'm very sorry" or "I just heard the news and I don't know what to say," is helpful, according to the newspaper. Saying that you know how someone else feels or implying that they have reason to be angry, however, is not. Listening is more important than talking. And making arrangements, either individually or as part of a group, to say goodbye at a gathering of some kind outside the office, after the initial news of the firing has sunk in, is also a good idea.

"You might feel survivor's guilt," psychologist Kenneth Reinhard of Montrose, N.Y., tells the WSJ. "You have your job, and they don't. But you have to understand that some things are out of our control, and keep it focused on them."

Earlier related ABAJournal.com coverage:

Bloody Thursday: 6 Major Law Firms Ax Attorneys

Bloody Thursday Layoffs Also Hit Cozen, Epstein Becker; ‘Big Ones’ Still to Come

Why So Many Law Firm Layoffs in Just One Day?

A&O to Ax Up to 250 Lawyers and 200 Staff, Freeze Pay, Ask Partners for Capital

January’s Carnage: 1,487 Law Layoffs

Comments

1.

B. McLeod
Feb 23, 2009 5:49 PM CST

A little party is a great idea.  Fill the ice chest with Sam Adams lager.  When everybody (sans partners, who should not be on the guest list) has got on to slurring their words a little, you can pass the old six-string around for attendees to take turns playing appropriate tunes, such as “Go Down Moses,” “McAlpine’s Fusaliers” or “Aragon Mill.”  The guest of honor may be laid off, but will at least get to put off caring about it for an hour or two.  Who knows?  If he or she gets really tanked up, signing up for the Marines may start to look pretty good.

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2.

Al Veoli
Feb 27, 2009 5:25 AM CST

I feel bad for the person.  After all it could be me.  I think they know that, because it’s only a matter of time until we all are fired, quit, or drop dead.

I think these are historic times, and we have to learn to deal with it.

Life is not as fat as it was last year at this time (Remember Bear Stearns?), but we can only guess where it will be next year at this time.

I think we all have to hold tight, think positive, and not try and toss aside what we have for something better.

Men, stick with your women, and women, stick with your man.

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3.

Bob
Feb 27, 2009 7:09 AM CST

#2… I can’t sleep around anymore because there’s a recession?!?

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4.

lyle guilbeau
Feb 27, 2009 8:33 AM CST

Really enjoy the short news summary. Please change email to guilblyle@yahoo.com

Thanks

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5.

Pete Clarke
Feb 27, 2009 8:39 AM CST

Lots of my unemployed friends wanted to get together for lunch and to ‘network’ with me while I still had a job.  Now, no one wants to network with me.  Why don’t we use this Comments section to network with each other?  Okay?

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6.

Older Guy
Feb 27, 2009 8:59 AM CST

Wow, this is rough. I have been out of the private law firm scene for many years so this is pretty foreign to me.

I’d say be supportive, buy the guy a beer, let him know he can bounce ideas off you, etc. Just don’t be a dick.

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7.

Deyseeme T. Rollin
Feb 27, 2009 9:02 AM CST

@6, Older Guy:  Let’s just go ahead and say that’s how you should always treat your colleagues—laid off or not.

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8.

George Sly
Feb 27, 2009 4:02 PM CST

Older Guy and T. Rollin are absolutely right.  I went to law school after I was laid off from a job i worked at for 20 years when my department was sold to another company.  Those of you who think you’re on top now can find yourself on the cut list tomorrow.  The rule still applies “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”  Just be a decent human being.

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9.

bubbachops
Feb 27, 2009 5:23 PM CST

A party for a laid-off colleague is a terrible idea.  “I’m so sorry you’re leavin—excuse me, bartender, I’d like that with Grey Goose.” 

Just leave me in my office where I can count my remaining Xanax tablets before my health insurance is canceled.  Say something disingenuous like how you’ll put in a good word for me with another employer.  Just please don’t do anything involving a brie wheel.

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10.

haha^
Mar 2, 2009 8:19 PM CST

haha^  too funny.

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