The Onion: Supreme Court Ditched Former Agent Responsible for Dull Docket
The Supreme Court’s high-profile docket hasn’t escaped notice of an online humor publication.
A headline in the Onion proclaims, “Supreme Court’s New Agent Already Getting Them Better Cases.” The “story” contains a purported quote by Chief Justice John G. Roberts Jr. attributing the court’s ability to hear the health-law case to new agent Rory McCleft, described “as a rising star in judicial talent management.”
“Rory was all over it. He burned through his Rolodex, called in every favor he had, and made the deal happen,” the quotation says. “He just—he gets it, you know? … He came into the room and just asked us flat out, ‘Where do you want to go as a court? What kind of cases do you want? Gun control? You got it. Abortion? Let’s do it.’ It was so refreshing after all those years where it felt like we were just treading water.”
The former agent was reportedly spending too much time on his other client, the New Jersey Supreme Court.
