Cocktail Dress Faux Pas Can Spell Trouble for Female Lawyers

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Cocktail Dress Faux Pas Can Spell Trouble for Female Lawyers

Posted May 9, 2008, 09:15 am CDT
By Debra Cassens Weiss

Fashion experts caution female lawyers and other businesswomen that dinners and cocktail parties are difficult to navigate if their dress is too revealing. Some lawyers have learned that lesson the hard way.

Lisa Goldstein, a Pennsylvania lawyer and consultant, told the Wall Street Journal (sub. req.) that a revealing dress set the wrong tone for a law firm leader when she and her husband dined with a male client and his wife. The lawyer was propositioned by the client, who "suggested that they swing together," Goldstein says. The lawyer had discovered her dress sent "signals that were misinterpreted" and she had to consult with Goldstein about how to recover from the incident.

Stylist Patty Fox told the Wall Street Journal that professional women should never step outside the bounds of their professional style, even for a special occasion. Jonathan Fitzgarrald, director of marketing for Los Angeles law firm Greenberg Glusker, agrees with that assessment.

"If my attorney bills out at $1,000 an hour, I want them to look like a lawyer, not a celebrity," Fitzgarrald told the newspaper.

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Posted by S.R. - 3 months, 2 weeks, 6 days, 21 hours, 53 minutes ago

Her dress was just a dress. Just because her client made assumptions about her character based on clothing and breached professional boundaries does not mean that her dress or she sent any signal.

It is certainly wise to protect oneself against exposure to the unpleasant situation created by a client behaving unprofessionally, and to anticipate another person’s bad behavior.

But the wording of this article sure sounds like the author thinks “she was asking for it.”
Posted by Anne - 3 months, 2 weeks, 6 days, 21 hours, 26 minutes ago

That sounds like one skanky, out-of-control client.
Posted by plaw07 - 3 months, 2 weeks, 6 days, 21 hours, 25 minutes ago

@1

C’mon.

Stop already with the old kneejerk feminist response that the woman bears no responsibility for her conduct and/or dress, and that even marginally to criticize her for inappropriateness is to “blame the rape victim for her own assault”.

If you dress in such a way as to draw attention to your sexuality--and a cocktail dress certainly qualifies--then don’t act like a victim when people respond to you sexually. Act like a man.....er, like a woman.
Posted by LCB - 3 months, 2 weeks, 6 days, 21 hours, 19 minutes ago

Plaw07 is right. Women should wear robes that cover our entire body and pray that we don’t send any non-verbal cues that gives a man persmission to sexually harass us.
Posted by plaw07 - 3 months, 2 weeks, 6 days, 20 hours, 58 minutes ago

@4

And so The Outrage begins.

If I choose to have a lot to drink after work, and then go walking through a bad part of town at midnight in my business suit with a prominent bulge in my breast pocket demarking the exact location of my wallet, and I get mugged......

Well sure, I don’t deserve to get mugged. No one can reasonably say that I wanted to get mugged. Most people would say that the mugger is guilty of a crime and, if caught, should be prosecuted.

But most people WILL also say: “What the hell were you thinking, and doing, to do that, you doofus?”

Our society expects, and reasonably so, that if you attempt to stake a claim to our sympathies as a victim, you will have taken reasonable precautions to avoid the reasonable prospect that the complained-of conduct will occur.

Get a grip.
Posted by plaw07 - 3 months, 2 weeks, 6 days, 20 hours, 47 minutes ago

@4

Yes, it is true: I certainly was advocating that all women should wear burqas, refrain from using scents or makeup of any sort and pray to a monotheistic patriarchal God three times a day.

(sarcasm off)

Comments like yours surely emanate from an alternative intellectual universe.
Posted by Layne - 3 months, 2 weeks, 6 days, 20 hours, 45 minutes ago

Just because a woman is a lawyer does not mean she is not a woman. Certainly a woman should not be inappropriate by revealing way too much, but most cocktail dresses can be femine and classy without making you look like a tease or a man. Women should be able to dress for the occasion and feel confident about their appearance without worrying that a client or anyone else takes being attractive as a green light for acting like a sex starved freak (really, are their any cocktail dresses that warrant a request to “swing”...seriously). Does that mean that now in all interactions with clients women should dress like men? Full jogging suit when playing tennis with a client? Pant suit in the summer when taking a client to a baseball game? I am absolutely not a feminist (living in a jurisdiction that still requires women to wear skirts instead of pants in state court) and accept zero responsibility if looking like a woman turns a man into a handsy jerk.
Posted by Heather - 3 months, 2 weeks, 6 days, 20 hours, 41 minutes ago

I go to charity events and other such functions at which I regularly run into clients. When I’m at these functions, I am fully aware that I need to represent myself in a way that is appropriate and consistent with being a professional. HOWEVER, I am also fully aware that these are my husband’s and my “date nights”—when we have a babysitter at home and have an opportunity to spend some fun time together. And I want to look pretty for my husband—maybe even “look like a celebrity.” There should be abosolutely NOTHING wrong with that and my dress—however stunning—gives NO ONE (except my husband) the right to make a pass. (Although all sincere compliments will be gratefully accepted.)
Posted by Catherine - 3 months, 2 weeks, 6 days, 20 hours, 15 minutes ago

Come on. Are you saying that I have to dress like a frump or it will be bad for business? I am in my late 40’s, look good and don’t intend to hide that fact. While my office attire is modest, I believe that a cocktail party is an occasion where I may reveal more, provided the outfit is in good taste.

Good looking women are not unaccustomed to the fact that dressing in a way that reveals their “assets” may cause them to be the subject of boorish attention. Just because a smalll cross-section of society may make inappropriate comments is no reason to wear the kind of frumpy, dowdy clothing i see on some female professionals.
Posted by HAW - 3 months, 2 weeks, 6 days, 20 hours, 2 minutes ago

This woman was at dinner with her HUSBAND, a client and the client’s WIFE! The client was an ignorent bore to suggest swinging. The lawyer’s attire had nothing to do with the inappropriate advances. The advice given puts the blame and responsibility on the victim rather than where it should rest on the client. Does Lisa Goldstein want us to wear burqas or wear a suit and tie trying to dress like the “guys”?
Posted by willem dedonis - 3 months, 2 weeks, 6 days, 19 hours, 40 minutes ago

Women lawyers need to recognize that they arent immediate attention grabbers; you don’t wear your law degree on your sleeve. If your a lawyer, you should be a little smarter than the normal girls on the street. If you’re pretty, you also have to watch out for leches; if you look like a moose, it doesn’t matter how fashionable you dress--youre still a moose.
Posted by just stop, please - 3 months, 2 weeks, 6 days, 18 hours, 45 minutes ago

Can we stop all of the “pc” nonsense. Welcome to life. Its tough, wear a helmet. If you are a hottie, prepare to be propositioned, regardless of whether you are a Supreme Court Justice or a maker of burritto supremes. Its a fact of life, its a fact of nature. Get over it. The second the propositions stop coming is when you should start worrying, but then it will be too late.
Posted by HVBx - 3 months, 2 weeks, 6 days, 15 hours, 39 minutes ago

Post #5’s illustration demonstrated why accused rapists are seldom convicted by female juries. You can talk a big pc game but when the jury retires, reality--including female intuition--rules the day.
Posted by Karen - 3 months, 2 weeks, 3 days, 8 hours, 1 minute ago

Unless we hear from the client regarding what possessed him to extend the invitation, we can not be quite so sure itwas the DRESS that caused this unfortunate situation. I have witnessed lawyers (male and female) in full courtroom attire engage in conversation which by any stretch is inapproriate in a professional setting. It could just as easily be concluded that this client has no respect for women in general and would have made the proposition regardless of what Ms. Goldstein was wearing. Or the conversation at dinner allowed for that type of invitation to be made. Or the poor fool had too many Cosmopolitans
Posted by eg - 3 months, 2 weeks, 2 days, 22 hours, 39 minutes ago

A cocktail style dress worn to a nice restaurant with one’s husband and the other person’s spouse present is hardly an invitation to such a stupid pass.

Suggestions that the woman should “put on a helmet”, etc. are simply ignorant. Nowhere in the article does it suggest that the woman was offended or outraged or hurt, simply that she consulted with someone else as to how to deal with the situation.

The idea that she had to “recover” from this or that her dress “sent signals” is just plain stupid. Would some of the above posters feel the same if a woman claimed a man’s well-cut suit was sending her “signals?” I imagine then you would be discussing the silly little woman who let the wine go to her head.

Women can be just as boorish as men in such situations, but we should be able to call a spade a spade - the man’s conduct here was inappropriate. End of story.
Posted by carolyn - 3 months, 2 weeks, 2 days, 16 hours, 26 minutes ago

Where was Ms. Goldsteins husband when the remark was made? If he was at the table which the article implies, then the invitation to a ‘swing party’ should have been just as offensive to him. I would reccomend that he stop wearing revealing cocktail dresses too, but he was probably in a business suit. Clothes had nothing to do with this outrage. The client is a pinhead.
Posted by Carolyn - 3 months, 2 weeks, 1 day, 15 hours, 12 minutes ago

The comment was directed to Ms Goldstein and her husband. Certainly, it could not have been any less offensive to him. I would recommend that he also stop wearing revealing black dresses to client dinners, except he was most likely in a suit. Point is, Ms. Goldstein’s dress most likely had little or nothing to do with this idiocy. The client’s moronic character on the other hand did.

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