How to take a self-deposition to 'right' your future
How do you take your own deposition? When I was struggling with my retirement strategy, I took a self-deposition to prioritize my goals and find out what I wanted to do next. Through this process of self-interrogation, I discovered the answer was to retire in stages.
You might be grappling with questions around retirement, or perhaps, you’re feeling the effects of practicing law in challenging times. We are an angry nation, divided politically and socially, and we’re going through a COVID-19 hangover. All of this affects our business, and if you’re like me, our mental well-being and quality of life as well.
If you’re feeling out of sorts in your practice, retirement plans or personal life, may I suggest a solution that worked for me? Look no further than your own legal training and experience.
The ‘right wall’
One of my heroes is Joseph Campbell, author of The Power of Myth and Professor of Literature at Sarah Lawrence College for 38 years, who spent his life studying and teaching comparative mythology. Campbell urged his students to follow their “bliss.” He also famously said, “There is perhaps nothing worse than reaching the top of the ladder and discovering that you’re on the wrong wall.”
Well, how do you find your own “bliss” and the “right wall”?
You can find it through self-examination that leads to self-discovery! Lawyers are trained in the Socratic method, a question-and-answer method of achieving self-knowledge. And that’s exactly what trial lawyers do in depositions—an interrogation process that gets to the truth of the matter. So why not depose ourselves to get to our own truths? After all, the very process is called discovery! So, self-examination can lead to self-discovery.
As a trial attorney, I am an expert in the art of examining and interrogating witnesses; with more than 40 years of tough-as-nails legal warfare in the trenches and in courtrooms, I’ve honed these skills to a fine edge. I have developed a self-deposition framework based on this experience that can help lawyers and others find their bliss—in other words, to set our ladders against the right wall.
The oral deposition is perhaps the most valuable tool in a trial attorney’s arsenal. We recount depositions as evidence at trial or to impeach witnesses who try to change testimony. In a deposition, a witness is placed under oath and questioned about the facts of a case by skilled attorneys. It is a very formal legal proceeding, and a certified court reporter takes down every word. After the oral deposition is completed, a written, line-by-line transcript is generated and sent to the witness to sign before a notary. The penalty for not answering the questions truthfully can be criminal perjury, so the process is indeed intimidating.
I had taken literally thousands of depositions, but not one with me as the subject. Admittedly this is a daunting exercise, just like a legal deposition but intensely personal. One afternoon, I closed the door to my study, took out a few sheets of paper and took my own deposition. Before I started, I promised myself that I would be completely honest.
I fashioned an oath similar to the one a witness takes on the stand with the right hand on the Bible: “I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.” My personal deposition involved five distinct steps:
- Create a narrative based on the issue on my mind to frame my questions.
- Pose a series of basic but broad-sweeping questions.
- Reflect on the first two steps and repeat step two with more direct and pointed follow-up questions akin to a cross-examination, designed to dig deeper still and gain more insight, meaning and understanding.
- Reflect further on the second set of answers and a comparison of the first and second sets of answers.
- Authenticate the process with a loved one or a close confidant.
I did not rush through these exercises. I took my time and went straight through the entire series.
In this initial step, frame the issue you’re facing—retirement in my case. It’s autobiographical, so clearly write out the issue and what you hope to gain from the self-deposition. Once you’ve completed this part, it’s time to tackle the more difficult questions below.
Once you have completed the narrative and framed your issue, get ready to tackle some difficult questions in part two. These questions should be open-ended to allow for a complete answer. They may appear deceptively simple at first, but they are designed to make you think. There are no trick questions and no right or wrong answers. The only bad answer is the one never written or not written honestly. Take your time with each one, then repeat this exercise with more specific follow-up questions and a guide to further assist you in answering them.
Direct Questions for Your Deposition:
Q: Do you enjoy what you do for a living most of the time?
Q: Are you satisfied, challenged and fulfilled by what you do?
Q: What do you like about it, and what do you not like about it?
Q: Do you wish you were doing something else?
Q: If so, what would you be doing?
Q: Do you wake up wanting or dreading to go to work?
Q: Do you feel that you have any limitations on doing what you really want to do?
Q: If you are not doing what you really want, what obstacles are in the way?Q: How difficult would it be to remove them and do what makes you happy?
Q: What are you waiting for?
Sample Cross-Examination Questions:
Q: Do you feel complete, or as if something important is missing from your life? Explain your answer. If you feel complete, describe the reasons. If you do not, describe why not.
Q: Based on your answers to the above, do you believe that you are climbing the right ladder that will lead to your bliss?
Q: If you aren’t, what changes would you have to make to start climbing the ladder that leads to your bliss?
Q: Are you willing to make these changes and live your bliss?
Reflect and verify
After answering these questions, reflect on your answers and, finally, verify them with a trusted person for feedback and authenticity. This is akin to signing your deposition transcript. Then you will have completed your deposition!
This exercise was a very enlightening and a very painful experience as well as an honest assessment of who I was and what I wanted next in my life. Through this exercise I discovered my own “right wall” for my retirement plan and beyond, and so can you.
The legal deposition turned out to be the ideal tool for self-discovery. The questions can easily be tailored to your own situation whether it involves relationships, spirituality, love, family, friends or interests—there’s no limit.
Stratton Horres is senior counsel at Wilson Elser in its complex tort and general casualty practice. He focuses on crisis management and catastrophic high-exposure cases. Horres is also co-chair of Wilson Elser’s national trial team. He is based in the firm’s Dallas office. His email is [email protected].
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