Divorce Is More Likely After ‘Marriage Bed’ Adultery, Lawyers Say
The consequences of an affair in the marriage bed can be dire.
The New York Times interviewed 18 marriage counselors and divorce lawyers who said at-home adultery is rare, but when it happens in the marriage bed, divorce is more likely. One enraged woman dragged the bed to the driveway of their home; another set it on fire.
In some states, adultery can affect financial and child custody, and in any jurisdiction adultery in the marriage bed can make a judge dislike the offender. “It’s common sense 101,” explained Randall Kessler, chair-elect of the ABA Section of Family Law and one of the lawyers interviewed by the newspaper.
“Conventions change,” the Times wrote. “A woman no longer earns a scarlet letter for having a child out of wedlock; divorce is not synonymous with scandal; and it is no surprise to find, when a marriage comes apart, that a third person was involved. But even in a sexually liberal culture, the home is still usually off-limits, as if protected by an invisible force field. And the marriage bed—a phrase that in itself seems quaintly out of date—remains a sacred object.”
Kessler, an Atlanta divorce lawyer, recalled a story about a lawyer in his hometown—not from his law firm—to illustrate the rage surrounding beds. The lawyer, who had an affair, got the bed in the divorce. When the lawyer and the girlfriend used the bed for the first time, they saw the ex-wife had carved a message in the headboard: “S-L-U-T.”
