Question of the Week

'Said no lawyer ever': What is something you will never hear a lawyer utter?

We recently stumbled on the video meme “Said No Teacher Ever,” in which teachers make statements that they’d really never make. (Here’s a playlist of some examples.)

Among the statements they claim no teacher would ever say:

“No Child Left Behind? Best. Program. Ever.”
“Don’t you love standardized testing?”
“Yes, Wikipedia is an acceptable source.”
“Just watch the movie—it’s the same as the book.”

So this week, we’d like to ask you: What would belong in a “Said No Lawyer Ever” meme?

Answer in the comments.

Read the answers to last week’s question: Have you seen a pro se litigant prevail in court? How did they do it?

Featured answer:

Posted by Ellen Lorenzen: “A pro se claimant who appeared before me (I’m a workers’ compensation judge) won. He won, in part, because he was able to explain what relief he was seeking and provided the testimony and documents necessary to establish his entitlement to that relief. He also won, not because I was his advocate, but because the defense firm sent a brand-new associate attorney who had never appeared at trial, had never observed a trial, and (apparently) had not been mentored by a more experienced attorney at her firm. Had she made an objection or two at the appropriate times, her client would have prevailed. I do not advocate for either party at any time, whether represented or not. I did feel a little sorry for the attorney who was going to have to live down her loss to an unrepresented party but my thoughts about the equity partners at her firm are not publishable.”

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