By Stephanie Bopeep, Peephaven National Laboratory

At an Alpha Peep Omega house party, various peeple, most of whom were consuming alcohol, were congregated at the APO house and on the outside deck. One APO brother decided “that it would be a good idea to shoot bottle rockets out of his [peeper],” but instead of launching, the bottle rocket blew up in his [bottom]. This startled the plaintiff and caused him to jump back, fall off the deck, and become lodged between the deck and an adjacent air conditioner.

Helmpeep sues under a theory (inter alia) of strict liability, alleging that under-age drinking and firing bottle rockets out of one’s own [peeper] constitutes an “ultra-hazardous” activity.

Peep interpretation of Complaint, Helmburg v. Alpha Tau Omega Fraternity, Case No. 12-C-57, Circuit Ct., Cabell County, West Va., filed January 23, 2012.

I have not made a diorama since 1977, but I was so inspired by the “Helmburg v. Alpha Tau Omega” case that the diorama practically made itself. My colleagues’ enthusiastic response upon hearing of my plans (and I quote): “You’re not actually going to submit that under your real name, are you?”