Opening Statements

They Could Be Heroes: Four Lawyer Superheroes of Your Own Creation

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In our November issue, we asked readers to create their own lawyer superheroes complete with names and special powers. Many of you took us up on our challenge—offering characters such as the aptly named Race Judicata, who has the ability to digest an entire Antonin Scalia dissent in three nanoseconds; the woefully misunderstood Stupid Judge Man, who can foil brilliant legal strategies; and the ubiquitous Lazy Partner, who claims all credit and ascribes all blame.

Here, then, are some of our favorites, illustrated as best we could to show their superhero lawyer traits.


Illustration by Jeff Dionese


My superhero lawyer would be a cyborg from the future who comes back in time to save the world. It has every case and law stored on a chip the size of the point of a pen. It never sleeps or eats and has a mini nuclear-fusion reactor for a heart. It can process information trillions of times faster than a human. Its personality would make us all forget about being best friends with Siri!

Otis Grigsby

The Suppressor

This superhero lawyer can make the obvious disappear from view by hiding it behind a 16,000,000-page brief.

Adam Bevelacqua

The Jet

This superhero lawyer would have well-read briefs.


Law Dog

This superhero lawyer would be named Law Dog. He would have super strength and speed and could time-travel. He would also have the ability to discern the truth by laying hands on people.

Buddy Burnett

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