“Some conversations should come with a ‘drafts’ folder.” —Unknown

As a single man in his mid-30s, I am very much acquainted with the familiar woes and occasional absurdities of modern dating. In an era where first impressions are made with a swipe, personal identities are now showcased beneath a photo and witty prompt, all in hopes of finding a soulmate (or more realistically, a competent co-pilot to do life with).

Dating apps, designed for deep connection, have the potential to create ethical tensions for the attorney swipers out there. Those flirty, sometimes over-the-top messages designed for replies may consequently turn into run-ins with a lawyer’s favorite friend: the Model Rules of Professional Conduct.

I can always count on a coy lawyer joke poked at me to get the energy pumping: “Do you cross-examine all of your dates ;)” or “Are you my future Harvey Specter?” I will typically play along with the back-and-forth banter until, of course, the inevitable happens. She has a friend or family member stuck in a legal bind or, better yet, she personally has a recent run in with the law, which quickly turns into asking for legal advice—cue the alarm bells.

Take this scenario with a woman (let’s call her Kelsey). Kelsey mentioned she recently had been in a car accident and asked whether she should hire an attorney because her medical bills were so high. As we know, once an attorney begins giving legal advice, concerns arise regarding the creation of an attorney-client relationship.

The ABA defines legal advice as recommendations tailored to the unique facts of a particular person’s circumstances and not simply general legal knowledge. An attorney-client relationship may inadvertently be formed if a person “reasonably relies” on what they believe to be the attorney’s advice.

My inner dialogue immediately challenges this ethical dilemma: There is no way someone would think that I represent them based on a few back-and-forth messages on a dating app, right? If a lawyer’s words could lead a reasonable person to believe the lawyer is acting as their attorney, certain duties may be attached and—voila—a client relationship may have bloomed.

Let’s take for instance ABA Model Rule 1.18(a): “A person who consults with a lawyer about the possibility of forming a client-lawyer relationship with respect to a matter is a prospective client.”

In practice, that threshold may be met whenever an individual seeks legal guidance from a lawyer, whether through in-person interactions, social media or even a dating app, particularly where the lawyer permits the sharing of detailed information without clear disclaimers.

Moreover, pairing this with ABA Model Rule 8.4(c) (which prohibits conduct involving dishonesty, deceit or misrepresentation), overzealous confidence in an inexperienced subject matter may create additional heightened risk. For instance, if, while flirting on a dating app, I offer substantive advice on a matter outside my expertise, my comments may unintentionally mislead someone into reasonably believing they are receiving formal legal guidance.

As in-house counsel, I not only need to be conscientious of opening the door for potential misrepresentation but also making sure I disclaim that I cannot represent parties in personal legal matters. Even casual advice can lead to trouble without proper disclaimers.

Let’s expand on the earlier example with our friend Kelsey to put it into context.

   Kelsey: “So you’re a lawyer? Not gonna lie, that’s kind of attractive. Do you just win arguments for a living?”
   Brad: “Haha, I do my best. It comes with the job.”
   Kelsey: “Well, I might need you then … I got rear-ended last week, and my back is still hurting. I am thinking of hiring a lawyer because my medical bills are through the roof, but I am not sure what to do. Any advice?”
   Brad: “Ah, yeah, I see this kind of thing a lot. In my experience, you probably want to avoid talking to insurance companies too soon because they’ll try to lowball you.”
   Kelsey: “That’s exactly what I was worried about!”
   Brad: “You are likely to have a solid claim, especially with back injuries and those medical bills. Make sure you document everything, and you could probably receive a good chunk of money.”
   Kelsey: “Wow, I knew matching with a lawyer would come in handy.”
   Brad: “Perks of swiping right ;) Happy to discuss how I can help more over dinner Friday if you are free?”
   Kelsey: “Sounds like a plan, counselor. :)”

Oye. This is where the ethical lines begin to blur. Instead of clarifying my limits right away, I leaned into the professional persona way too comfortably. I recommended specific advice to her situation and gave her the impression that I have expertise in an untrained area—thereby creating risks under both Rule 1.18(a) and Rule 8.4(c).

I also failed to disclose that I am not authorized to represent individuals in my capacity as in-house counsel, as my duties are to my company and not external parties. This example showcases how easily romantic conversations can quickly transition into a perceived legal consultation.

Now, let’s explore a better approach to that conversation.

   Kelsey: “So you’re a lawyer? Not gonna lie, that’s kind of attractive. Do you just win arguments for a living?”
   Brad: “Haha, I do my best. It comes with the job.”
   Kelsey: “Well, I might need you then … I got rear-ended last week, and my back is still hurting. I am thinking of hiring a lawyer because my medical bills are through the roof, but I am not sure what to do. Any advice?”
   Brad: “Ah, that’s the worst. I am sorry you’re dealing with that. Just so you know, I can’t give personal legal advice or represent individuals in my capacity as in-house counsel for my company. I recommend talking to a personal injury attorney to look at your specific situation.”
   Kelsey: “Yeah, I probably should. That’s a good idea.”
   Brad: “If it helps, I can point you toward a couple of good personal injury attorneys I know in town who handle those cases regularly?”
   Kelsey: “That would actually be great. Thank you.”
   Brad: “Of course! And I promise I’m way more fun when I am not giving out legal disclaimers. You up for dinner Friday night?”
   Kelsey: “Sounds like a plan. :)”

Not too shabby. Here, I put the legal disclaimer upfront early to avoid any assumptions of an attorney-client relationship. By staying neutral and not sharing specific legal advice, I avoided any misrepresentations of expertise and even recommended a referral. Even with the disclaimers, I was still able to maintain the flirty rapport without getting ghosted (or blocked).

Dating apps can be tricky. The Model Rules may not have been written with them in mind, but their reach can certainly extend to communications in any setting. A swipe may be casual in nature, but the ethical obligations that follow are unfortunately not. Even the smallest hint of a potential legal representation may carry unintended consequences.

For purposes of illustration, the dating app scenarios described in this article are entirely fictional and are not based on any actual events or individuals.

Bradley T. Bald is an attorney in Charleston, South Carolina, where he works as an associate general counsel for Lifestyle Communities, a national multifamily developer, investor and operator.

ABAJournal.com is accepting queries for original, thoughtful, nonpromotional articles and commentary by unpaid contributors to run in the Your Voice section. Details and submission guidelines are posted at “Your Submissions, Your Voice.”