Marcel Strigberger.

If you’re happy and you know it, swing your gavel. Are judges a happy lot? Compared to lawyers especially?

A study generated by the Canadian Judicial Council with collaboration from the University of Sherbrooke noted that though some judges experience anxiety and depression, the figure for lawyers was more than double judges overall. In general, judges found a high level of meaning and satisfaction in their work.

It is interesting to note the things that do stress the judges. High on the lists is the number of sitting days. This surprises me. What do they expect? It is like a Starbucks barista bleating, “Oh, no, what am I doing making cappuccinos? No fair.”

After all, they got appointed to the bench. They got a bench. What do the judges expect? A throne? Life is tough indeed.

Lawyers just wish to be in court often. And at least unlike lawyers who get stressed vying for clients, judges do not have to advertise and compete for business. I have yet to see a highway billboard reading, “Injured in a car accident? Call Judge Henry … www.sustained.”

Another stressor for judges is lack of human resources in courts. I don’t know about that one. A typical high court setting here in Ontario generally has—in addition to the court registrar or clerk who handles the exhibits, carries the judge’s notebook or laptop, and announces the entry of the judge making the opening greeting of “Oyex, Oyez, Oyez”— a court official at the courtroom entrance monitoring human traffic.

There is also an elderly gentleman who sits in front of the bench a level below the judge. He is distinguished-looking, a dead ringer for Jeeves the Butler. I never figured out what his function is. I think of poet John Milton’s line, “They also serve who only stand and wait.” I don’t suppose the judges consider this man a major court resource. Who knows?

Another gripe judges have is having to deal with voluminous evidence, including dumps of documents, some being irrelevant. I am not sympathetic. Do judges not stand back and appreciate that the lawyers have spent eons of hours preparing these documents? All the judges have to do is read them. Or do they?

In my four-plus decades in practice, I came across my share of justices who I highly suspect just winged reading a complex motion brief. My level of concern would rise when, at the outset of my argument, the judge would say something like, “Counsel, may I suggest before we start argument that both of you go out and discuss resolution of this simple issue.” Or, “Madam and sir, you both know proceeding with this motion could involve massive costs to you respective clients.”

Or even more ominous is where after the judge enters the courtroom, he or she says, “Counsel, I have read the materials.” Why would the judge make this comment to start with? Isn’t that supposed to be a gimme? You don’t sit on an airplane and before takeoff ever hear the pilot announcing, “I have performed the routine safety checks on the aircraft.” We certainly hope so.

Of interest in what else perturbs the judges is the pressure of dealing with an increase in the number of self-represented litigants. Aside from delays incurred as judges spend time explaining the process to self reps, judges often cut self-reps slack they would not accord lawyers.

I once witnessed a woman hand a document to the judge. She handwrote the words on the page in a circular spiral layout, like a snake coiled up. To read the document the judge had to turn it around and around like a steering wheel. When questioned by the judge, the lady said, “I am just a poor artist. Unlike my rich husband, I cannot afford a lawyer. Alas.”

Not surprisingly, the judge was patient. I dare any lawyers to try that stunt. If so, the lawyer had better tender that document to the judge pinned onto a turntable.

And let us not forget the image difference in the public eye between judges and lawyers. Judges are indeed viewed as dignified, making a substantial contribution to society. While lawyers may often be beneficiaries of these sentiments, they also frequently are seen as windbags, overpaid mouthpieces and of questionable veracity. I have even come across a dining establishment called “The Honest Barrister.” This caption alone can raise our stress level. You will never see it referring to a judge—or to that gentleman in the court who does nothing.

It is not surprising that judges are generally happy with their jobs. Nor is it surprising to find that many lawyers are unhappy and emotionally burnt in practice. I would say in addition to having respect, judges earn a decent salary, have a generous benefits package including vacation and pensions, and, of course, major power. Not perfect … but not bad.

I am reminded of that comment made by Mel Brooks in History of the World: Part I, where he says, “It’s good to be the king.” Ain’t it the truth.

Marcel Strigberger, after 40-plus years of practicing civil litigation in the Toronto area, closed his law office and decided to continue his humor writing and speaking passions. His latest book is First, Let’s Kill the Lawyer Jokes: An Attorney’s Irreverent Serious Look at the Legal Universe. Visit MarcelsHumour.com, and follow him at @MarcelsHumour on X, formerly known as Twitter.

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